Sending You Love Anyway

Posted on May 16, 2019

I am quick to say, I love you.

We can spend three days together and I will attach myself well. It’s wonderful to easily connect with folks but truth be told, everybody doesn’t need or want to be latched onto. I was a friendly baby, so this is just who I am.

Call me an “arm baby”, I cling and haven’t been good about setting boundaries with other humans, including myself.

Things like sex, food, money, men, and weed – will consume you without boundaries. Living life this way invites pleasure and pain, in abundance.

It’s like living next door to someone with a lemon tree that sits right against a fence. If the tree is producing in excess, you reap the benefit and may collect whatever fruit falls on your lawn. In this scenario, a neighbor has a fence for a reason; to outwardly proclaim the space they are entitled to. In this metaphor, this includes the lemon tree and all of its fruit included, even the fruit on my lawn. “Yesterday-Me” would believe that it’s better for everyone if there are no fences. My assumption is that the lemons should be fair game, what’s the use in keeping an abundance of good to yourself? The only good use is sharing. A neighbor should share. A FRIEND or partner or child should share but a fence is there for a reason; to set a boundary. A neighbor or a friend should have the right to choose how to share their lemons or self.

I’m the neighbor who will take lemons anyway; the friend who keeps probing after you’ve asked for time or space. I’m an invasive neighbor and friend. This doesn’t make me a bad person. “Concern” is not a bad trait to carry but don’t let it be a tool for invasion.

“CONCERN” IS NOT A BAD TRAIT TO CARRY BUT DON’T LET IT BE A TOOL FOR INVASION. 

I’m working on my side of the fence now. No longer worrying about my neighbors lemon tree. I await an invite or a knock at the door and tend to my own garden.

I sunbathe, meditate, and visualize my best life often.

I imagine…

Balance. Alignment. Returning to center. Chasing my healing. Finding my voice. Coming into consciousness. Collaborating not competing. Experiencing satisfaction. Indulging in minimalism. Living a life lead by my heart, spirit, and soul.

I’ll say it anyway. Even if you don’t say it back, “I love you, too”.

In my heart, I know who feels it – and that matters more than words. We have the gift of language now, but there will come a time where words or humans (in the physical sense) won’t exist. Our vibrations, however, will live on forever. The perfectionist in me strives to feel love regularly. Love stimulates the feelings of joy, wonder, creativity, pleasure, fun, and life. If I am to live on forever, that’s the sort of energy I’d want to carry with me for an eternity.